A Little Collection of Light Verse

by Scott Emmons
illustrated by Chris Harding


Love and Sex


Romantic Stirrings

I'm in love with Betty Crocker.
She's a hot and tempting dish,
With her sassy little hairdo
And a smile that's just delish!

She's the woman of my fantasies.
I've known it from the start.
She took the quickest short cut
Through my stomach to my heart!

How I yearn to taste her cupcakes!
It would thrill my very soul
Just to nibble on her sticky buns
And lick her batter bowl!

Now, I'm fond of Aunt Jemima.
Mrs. Butterworth is fine.
I was hot for Little Debbie
At the age of eight or nine.

But Betty is my one true love,
My passion, my ideal.
I thought I'd been in love before,
But this time it's for real!

The Smut Page

If you're looking for pictures of hot, horny sluts
Or skanky young cheerleaders baring their butts
Or babes in bikinis or lingerie hotties
Or centerfold chicks with incredible bodies
Or Britney Spears naked or Lucy Liu nude
Or Kylie Minogue getting nasty and lewd
Or sex-hungry college girls flashing their tits,
You won't find them here, but just look at these hits!

Gym Rat

Well-toned pecs
Got him sex.
And washboard abs
Led to crabs.

A Love Story

I walked with Marietta in the moonlight on the strand.
I stroked her silken tresses and I kissed her tender hand.
I told her that my love for her ran deeper than the sea.
I said my wretched, aching heart no more belonged to me.
I swore on my immortal soul I'd love her to the end.
She sweetly smiled and answered me, "I like you as a friend."


Magnum, Rocky, Hercules,
Godzilla, Ranger Rick,
Johnny Lightning, Superman,
Gigantor, Moby Dick,
Jolly Roger, Spartacus,
Leviathan, Big Jim...
You never seem to meet a guy
Who calls it Tiny Tim.

Copyright Notice:
All written content on this site ©2002-2003 Scott W. Emmons